So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
