Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
