goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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