Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
When did angry sex become our thing?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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