Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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