told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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