The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
