so explain again why im purple
no
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Dicks are not precious.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
