your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
