and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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