I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
