we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
