Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
