you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
