we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
