Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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