Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Sex in the backyard? Check.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
