Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
