trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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