why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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