the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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