So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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