can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
