how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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