she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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