i think i have herpe
just one?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
