i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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