Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
