Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize