we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
