It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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