so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
