is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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