i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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