I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
why do cheetos always look like penises
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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