the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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