I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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