Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
