I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
