i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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