How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
