Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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