the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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