Where are you?
In a non slutty way
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
