We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My vagina is officially offended.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
