Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My liver just had a heart attack.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
