Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
