your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My room smells like vodka and shame
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize