This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
