I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
