no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
