thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
