whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
