Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
