We won't sleep together?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
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