Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
