Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize