i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
