i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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