We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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