i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
