Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
