Just cropdusted the office
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Randomize
