People in love make me want to vomit
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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