You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
