I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
