the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
