ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
