Your mouth is God's brothel.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize