So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
