remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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