Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
