Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
