we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
