There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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