Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
