Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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