His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
