nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I could fuck to npr.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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