That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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