Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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