sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
