Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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