I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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