so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize